It was my first full day without you.. It was definitely as bad as I had expected. The pain came in waves. Like contractions, almost. Giving me a moment or two of rest before slamming back into me full force. I knew today would be bad. I know tomorrow will be, too. I don't expect that it will stop any time soon, unfortunately.
I colored my hair. It felt like something I needed to do. I needed something to occupy my time anyway. It's blue-black and I added one purple streak to the bangs. I think you would have thought it looked cute on me. I like it.
I started on Halloween costumes today, too, but my sewing machine is acting up. I'll mess with it more tomorrow. I'll figure something out.
It rained all day today. That was pretty wonderful. You know how I am about the rain. It really does make everything a little better. Even this. Momentarily.
I know you don't read my blog, but for some reason I feel better pretending that maybe you would. Whatever takes that sting away, even for a moment, is worth it.
It's been a full day now and it was definitely as bad as I thought it would be.
I'm actually terrified that tomorrow is going to be worse. The big kids will go back to school and that will be less distractions for me. It's good though. They don't need to see me fighting back tears all day.
I guess I made it through. That's something.