Saturday, September 19, 2015

I feel so broken..

Everything in me hurts. The numbness hasn't set in yet. I don't know if it will, really. Not this time. Because it's you. Everything about you made me feel alive. Everything about you made every part of me electric. Even when you made me so mad, so hurt, so whatever .. it was always you.

But now it's not. You're gone. We're gone. Everything we talked about wanting. Our future. It's over. It's done. It's gone. You're gone. And every part of me hurts.

I know it won't hurt like this forever.. every day it will get a little easier. Maybe only minutely, but, still, it will get easier. Until one day I am going to be able to wake up and maybe you won't be the first thought in my head. Maybe when I go to bed you won't be the last thing I think of. Maybe I won't see random nothings and think of you.


But right now, I think I might die. I think my world may actually stop spinning. Right now, everything fucking hurts. So bad.

I think you may have actually broken me.

I will put me back together. Eventually. Not today, though. Today I don't even know where to begin.


Kimmie said...

At the end of every second, when you think you can't go on....strive for surviving for the next minute. At the end of a minute, when it still hurts and it feels you can't go on, strive for 5 minutes or 10 minutes. YOU WILL GET THROUGH! When 5 minutes seems like a lifetime.....strive for an hour. YOU WILL GET THROUGH! Live minute for minute. Hour for hour. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he has broken you. YOU ARE NOT BROKEN! There is a a fix for every single thing in this world. This is just temporary, and YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

Tasia D said...

Thank you for that. I definitely needed that tonight! And I will probably need to come back and read it again tomorrow. <3