Everything in me hurts. The numbness hasn't set in yet. I don't know if it will, really. Not this time. Because it's you. Everything about you made me feel alive. Everything about you made every part of me electric. Even when you made me so mad, so hurt, so whatever .. it was always you.
But now it's not. You're gone. We're gone. Everything we talked about wanting. Our future. It's over. It's done. It's gone. You're gone. And every part of me hurts.
I know it won't hurt like this forever.. every day it will get a little easier. Maybe only minutely, but, still, it will get easier. Until one day I am going to be able to wake up and maybe you won't be the first thought in my head. Maybe when I go to bed you won't be the last thing I think of. Maybe I won't see random nothings and think of you.
But right now, I think I might die. I think my world may actually stop spinning. Right now, everything fucking hurts. So bad.
I think you may have actually broken me.
I will put me back together. Eventually. Not today, though. Today I don't even know where to begin.